Finding Your Personal Honor


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Everything I have done for the last 30 years has to do with healing. I have literally spent my life as a living example that you can absolutely heal from anything or everything!

I have raised myself:
from co-dependent to inter-dependent,
from addiction to recovery,
from having an experience of living in a violent and abusive relationship disguised by mental illness, and
from having narcolepsy, that is a sleep disorder that has cataplexy, temporary paralysis and random falling asleep for spells. It completely interrupted my life… to healing it completely when every doctor said I couldn’t heal it.

I am no different than you.
I am flesh and blood and spirit.
I have dreams, goals and desires.
I have been through heartache and pain. I have had wounds. Emotional wounds that in many people leave scars palpable enough to hold. However, I choose to never see a scar but an inclusion, like in a fine diamond. My inclusions are stepping stones. They are foundational “needs” because if I must go through it, I must rise higher because of it! I have given myself no other choice.
Its not important how many times I have fallen but everything rides on how many times that I try again. Its not enough to just get back up. The outcome of rising is survival. It’s important how often you try again. Then you thrive instead merely of surviving.
I am here and available to share with you my experience, strength and hope. You do not have to sit in the confines of your cranium silently screaming. Reach out and find your voice, share your thoughts, your fears, your failures and your successes! I heard recently Cody Mannix of Better Body, Better Life say “I’m not having a bad day. I’m having a character building day!”  He has learned to develop a mindset so that anger does not have to effect him negatively. Reaching within, we can always pause to look at situations from a new perspective.
My personality is as strong as a rock. My personality is as weak as my insecurities. Can it be both? Yes! My personality is as soft as a flower. My personality is as rough as sandpaper. Can it be both? Yes! My personality ebbs and flows but my character is a creation of WHAT I do with my situations.
Character is stronger than our personalities. It’s a direct correlation to everything I have ever experienced. It’s the outlook I have on life, problems and situations that defines my character. I will never let circumstances define me. Carolyn Myss wrote in Anatomy of the Spirit that “…our biography creates our biology.” It is an amazing phenomenon of the brain that it cannot distinguish between an imagined event or a real event. This means that whatever we hold in our minds, our brains create it as a reality. Our brains are like living computers. Input garbage….output garbage. Input love and acceptance….output love and acceptance. The difference is YOU are the Master Input. You can be surrounded by people that input negativity, but the bottom line is that you choose what to focus on. Therefore, I will always make sure I am stronger than my circumstances. I will rise above all of my fears and face what I must with my head held high.
I believe in the power of my spirit. I believe I am here on purpose, living for a purpose. I allow no one to slow my roll. I allow no one to tell me about who I am, that is for me to share with them.
It’s a choice to live in the solution or wallow in the problem. I have chosen to live in acceptance that each and every moment I can choose how I view a situation. If I am hurt, I can retaliate or I can accept a miracle. The definition of a miracle that I am using is a change in perception. I choose to find something to appreciate about a situation or problem. What an amazing feeling of freedom that one action has given me for years. If you look at a problem from the level of the problem, a solution is impossible. You can’t heal a lower vibrational offering from the same vibration. You must always lift your energy, find something to appreciate. It will set your mind up for finding the pathways to all solutions.
I love that I have found my strength in honoring who I am. Not just as a person, but I am honoring my soul. I no longer blow off ego. We are living a spiritual and bodily life. Therefore, it is a yin and yang. Body and Soul. Spirit and Ego. Honoring your complete self means to accept all of you with the knowledge that with acceptance comes the ability to choose how you handle a situation. I choose to handle all situations with spiritual elegance.


I choose to remove myself from negative influences. I choose to surround myself with the people that encourage and lift me up. Thank you for all of you that I call my tribe. I look forward to sharing my experience, strength and hope in happy expectation that my path can be a light for those that need to be held in unconditional love while travelling forward in this awesome life!

© Tatia Jankiewicz and Innerbalanceouterjoy , 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Tatia Jankiewicz.




Living beliefs ~ What Steers Your life?


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“Most people don’t need more therapy.

                They need more clarity.”

~ Robert Holden

Welcome to life. We were born into this existence with all the possibilities of the Universe available. We, my friend, are beautiful blessed beings with wants, desires, dreams and goals. There are absolutely countless directions in which to flow our energy to create a life that inspires the peacock proud strut we all secretly desire. In this world of high energy and chaotic happenings, it is sometimes hard to feel that any of those words have any true substance. They are more like cute, imaginary dreams of living perfection that sits taunting us on fluffy clouds of unattainable reality. No wonder we fill our lives with quick fixes. Any attempt to fast tracking it to love, riches, or feelings that are described but never reached fills the void.

So what is the truth? There is no fairy tale existence of living perfection. The descriptions of living life we received as children, are perceived at that same level. Wide eyed expectations that give no room for the mundane. It’s all love or no love. It’s all happiness or no happiness. So much emphasis is placed on adult words with adult meanings, given to children who have not learned that there are many definitions to one word, one feeling, one experience. So the search for our personal identity begins. However, it begins with a whole set of inherited beliefs. Beliefs, which set boundaries and rules to our lives. To create a life lived authentically woven from a chosen value system, we must examine our thoughts and our early life experiences. By honest examination, we will be able to uncover the thoughts that lead to creating the belief system that is directing our current and past paths.

“As you perceive something, you give birth to a thought, and this thought now thinks. Now that it exists, now that it has been conjured, now that it has been focused,now it vibrates. Now, by Law of Attraction, other thoughts that are vibrationally same will come to it. So it begins its expansion immediately. “— Abraham
Excerpted from the workshop in Philadelphia, PA on Thursday, October 15th, 1998

Thoughts are powerful vibrational bullets. They have the power to add value to our present existence while being able to kill all our dreams and desires. In quantum physics, it has been proven that thoughts are energy. They are tiny movements of vibrational energy. A thought has weight, mass and also has the ability to be directed. We think a thought, then automatically we send out a rocket of desire. Every thought is attracting like energy. The Universe, on a scientific level, is like a computer. Input thoughts, output energetic matchings. The Universe does not understand the words yes and no. It just vibrates and attracts. So the person who chants “I am a non smoker. I am a non smoker. I am a non smoker.” Is actually attracting and affirming that they are a smoker. The person that chooses to chant “I can breathe deeply and freely, without coughing. I can breathe deeply and freely, without coughing.” has a much better chance of quitting smoking. Why? What you focus on, gets attracted to you.

Life starts as a thought. Our experiences start as a thought. Our plans, dreams, imaginations and fears start as a thought. As it is held in mind, more power is getting attracted to it. Thoughts held in mind, become words. Those words create the desire for actions. Actions, if repeated enough become habits. Our habits, if repeated enough become beliefs. Our beliefs become our boundaries. How we live our belief system becomes our character. So, a thought held in mind, creates a boundary of expectation. If you grew up poor, financial struggles filled your childhood. Your parents were always trying so hard, but you watched them never getting ahead. That experience could form a belief that life is hard. What are the Beliefs that determine Your boundaries? What is your inner compass set on?

One of the most profound moments in our daily living experiences are the realizations of WHY we do what we do. Many times, these come as loud booms of watching our personal reality crumble beneath our feet. Some huge situation happens to shine a light on the belief we hold that worked as a child, but fails to give us the result we want today. It might have been a good rule to live by at a younger age, however what we need today is never satisfied with the fillings of yesterday. When our lives begin to tailspin, we begin to ask questions.


” Power is at the root of the human experience. Our attitudes and beliefs–positive or negative, are all extensions of how we define and use power.” ~ Carolyn Myss

When I was a young adult, a friend of mine expressed two strong rules that were a base as to put a life in order. One was Know Thyself and the other was Nothing in Excess. I remember clearly stating out loud “I could do Know Thyself.” As if it were a task on a daily checklist of items to focus on today. Funny thing, it was! In that moment the day dreamer, thinker and faith believer that I have been took on knowing thyself as a life mission. But not….nothing in excess. Everything I did I jumped in as deep as I could, making sure I experienced every last morsel. So, the ultimate question became how can I accomplish knowing myself? How can I reach into the center of my soul, brushing off all that is not needed? This is the moment of realization that circumstances had been controlling me. I have given my personal power away by living a reaction based life. Something happens, I handle it, I live the consequence. Wow. The crackling sounds within my cranium walls were nestled deeply in my psyche. Clearly a whole boundary of beliefs had been broken. Breathing deeply my lungs expand, blurry visions became clear. Every molecule in my existence felt just a little more alive. I have power. I have rivers and rivers of soul driven power. That is who I am, not the labels, not the roles. I am….that I am. Like Jesus. Wow. Jesus is truly a sibling of mine. Jesus had a soul journey filled with breaking down of old beliefs and creating a foundation of living your beliefs. Again….wow! I have power.

The journey begins. I have been given a lifeline. It’s funny. My niece, at the young but insightful age of ten years old, exclaimed “I have hearts all over my body. I keep everyone in my whole heart.” So, in childlike innocence there was no blocking or hiding. Automatically the knowledge was felt. It was known to fill the entire heart with who and what we love. If only I had tried living that way, maybe those silly walls of protection would have allowed much more love inside of my heart. Yet, it is from all of my experiences I am able to see so clearly now. So instead of regret what I did not do, I will choose to appreciate the past. The choices I made to create the life I lived were all for a purpose. Now, with knowledge comes responsibility. Paper and pen have always been my friend of choice, prior to any keyboard. I made lists, utilized journaling, created a plan to free myself of the past beliefs that seem to be holding part of my life hostage. A continuous purging of different people but same sabotages. Lifelines are a good measure. I drew a line depicting very 5 years of my life. I started asking and answering questions for each five years such as :
     Who were the people in my life? Who stands out the most and why?
What stands out? What were some of the phrases I remember being         repeatedly spoken?
Was there any strong situation that made a significant difference in my life?
What did I learn about how to live and survive? About friends? Men? Women?    Family? God?
What was my experience of money? My parents view on money?
What was considered right or wrong? Why?

Amazing what a little time asking honest, soul growth questions does for the psyche. I found some obvious answers. I found some odd answers. The magic happened just like A Course in Miracles describes. I accepted a miracle. A simple shift in my perception to look at the canvas of my life. To paint the past is useful. To look at it removed my confusion. I could clearly see patterns which eluded me previously. However, that was me then, not now. I am new today. In fact, every cell that lives and thrives within me is a new cell. Now it is my time. It is my turn to go to a fresh new canvas to cover it with fresh paint. My higher self, the God of my understanding, has given me a fresh anointing of my values and true beliefs. Those beliefs that are living, breathing expressions of what I truly want my life to center around.

“Just let go. Let go of how you thought your life should be, and embrace the life that is trying to work its way into your consciousness.” ~Carolyn Myss

Who was I? I was a victim, a wounded child, a martyr. I would stroke my ego with grandiose thoughts of what I was capable of, while at the same time in total disbelief that I could actually pull it off. Standing in the shadow of my own importance, I swallowed ideas that skated across my mind, sure I would not be taken seriously. I bounced off each situation like a pinball thrust into motion. Doing my best to control my roll, but only living by my chosen reactions. Decisions based after the event would happen.

Who am I now? I am victorious, healed, grateful. It just took one moment for me to choose to take my power back. It was not easy, although very simple. Every day has had some challenges. I felt the old ways gnawing at my heels until I remembered I have a choice. I have become a master of placing my values first. Allowing my life to unfold from the inside out. I am not perfect, for there is no perfection. There is a constant drive for progress. However, in the Truth, we are all living extensions of the perfection of Christ. Therefore, our imperfect way is actually the perfection we seek. A constant ebb and flow of living life with the goal of soul growth. Welcome to living.

© Tatia Jankiewicz and Innerbalanceouterjoy , 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Tatia Jankiewicz.

Salutations to 2014


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Salutations to 2014….

For saying goodbye is only a part of the truth. I say goodbye to all that was improper. I release and let go of the grand illusion of the ego’s drama of living. However, it is an even larger Thank you for all that my soul has taken and used for personal growth. The Year of the Horse proved true. The trick was to get on the horse and ride to your highest, most appropriate destiny instead of being pulled by the stirrups into the year. I did both.

All year I was preoccupied by understanding my life experiences, instead of feeling my life experiences. I was thrown out of the safe daily repetitive grind into the creation of my life again. I was tired, sick, hands covered in eczema and constantly having large situations seemingly happen to me. The entire time I had forgotten to truly listen to my soul, listen to my heart. Money at the expense of your soul is blood money, for you have wasted a precious moment in time you can never have again. That realization tormented me, just enough to get to an even higher place than I would have gone. My spirit knows me well. I am choosing to let go of the hard way of living. No more will I wait for the loud thumps, the thundering crashes of my personal humanity. I release it all and accept a miracle. The grand shift, to the remembrance in A Course in Miracles, which means I am remembering a universal truth.

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein, lies the peace of God.

Thank you God, for delivering my soul whisperings, when I was choosing not to listen. Thank you Universe, for providing me with all of the challenges that have arisen. As I give thanks, I release to the Universe all that I do not need…allowing it to be transformed into love and light once again. I am blessed and moving forward as the strong spirit I am. I am free of ego, to strive to live a daily existence of honor without the drama. Thank you for the beauty of all of my gifts and my important happenings in 2014. Especially my wedding. For it was a melding of family and the truest of friends. We married a family, deeply sinking out hearts into the roots of God…which creates the foundation of the love for all of the best and deep experiences we are receiving! I leave you with a poem I wrote in the year of 2000. It had been lost for years and I have, appropriately, stumbled across it again. Namaste.


That I AM

Which is beautiful to me.
I am not tied to the beliefs of old, but in a space of complete allowance.
Fulfilling my destiny is flowing flawlessly, as it always has,
but now I have chosen to see it this way.
What a powerful shift in your life when you open yourself
to the possibilities that are your inheritance.
We are all products of the obvious things our humanity can figure out.
However, what we have forgotten is the true reason our spirits
have entered this form of existence.
THAT is the power we need to surrender completely to….
Then all the miracles around us start becoming visible and tangible.
No longer a possibility, but a fact of our true existence.
A blessing of feeling the receiving…..
An appreciation to give back to the Universe
Unconditionally for the higher good of all.

True appreciation comes without effort,
But as a result of being who you were meant to be.

© Tatia Jankiewicz and Innerbalanceouterjoy , 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Tatia Jankiewicz.